Ian Hunter - Scottish Author - Short Stories - Roam Albino Vampire

Alone? Great. There was an archway with a phrase above it that meant nothing to

 him. Was it Latin ? Gaelic ? Inside was different. He had to stop and take in the rows of

 people who were floating in the air. Someone waved to him. A man with thick dark hair

 and high cheek bones.

 Murdoch touched his chest. Me ? The man nodded, waving him over. A million

 times more friendly than the receptionist had been earlier. The handshake was strong and

 vigourous.

 "Hey, Donald Murdoch. H.I.C., eh ? You don't look like a boozer. I'm Jarek

Nowinski."

 "Pleased to meet you."

 "Sit down."

 Where, thought Murdoch, then he noticed a floating blue halo about waist-high. He

 put his hand out and felt the edges of a transparent seat.

 "Not very comfortable," confided Nowinski. "Makes you want to head for one of the

 bars at the earliest opportunity."

 Murdoch nodded, gingerly slid on to his seat and reached out, guided by the neon

 blue outline of a lectern in front of him. A panel winked into existence in its centre. He

 looked up and couldn't stop gawping. All of the government MSPs sitting opposite looked

 the same. He closed his mouth. Not exactly the same, he realised. Half were men, half

 were women, but they were identical to each other, even down to the same grey clothing.

 "Clones," confirmed Nowinski. "Scottish Parliamentary Parties have the right to

 allocate candidates after an election. The Labour Party uses clones. They all wear a

 control cap and vote in unison, and I don't mean the old trade union."

 Murdoch looked to the rows of seats that stretched between the Labour MSPs to

 the opposition benches where he sat. Here, the MSPs wore the same clothes but they

 were clearly different people."

 "Lib Dems," snarled Nowinski. "They get to wear the labour suits but not the control

 caps. Not that it matters."

 Murdoch leaned forward to take in the MSPs sitting beside him who represented

 the Scottish Nationalist Party and four independents, including himself from H.I.C. He

 grimaced. What a name, the sooner he saw Moira about a badge change the better.

 The lights began to dim. "Chin up," whispered Nowinski. "Here comes Donald."

 "I've never seen a virtual presentation before," Murdoch admitted.

 "Yeah, well it won't be long before they get old Donald's corpse out of the cryo

 fridge. Once we've got death licked we can bring all the politicians back to life, of course,

 we want Sir Sean back first."

 Suddenly Donald Dewer was there in front of them. Walking. Talking. Even though

 he had died years ago. It was too much for Murdoch who wasn't listening to what the First

 Minister was saying.

 Nowinski tapped him on the shoulder. The SNP MSP was grinning from ear to ear.

 "What ?" mouthed Murdoch. Then he tilted his head, aware of a trilling, a high -

 pitched tune.

 Nowinski flipped out his mobile phone. Immediately, Donald Dewer started to

 disappear. There. Gone. There. Gone. He folded over. He stretched. His legs separated

 from his body. Black streaks passed across his image, and all the while, Nowinski

 laughed.

 The screen on his lectern began to pulse. Murdoch leaned over to read it.

 MOBILE PHONE VIOLATION

SWITCH OFF NOW OR LEAVE THE CHAMBER

 The Lib Dems tutted. The opposition cheered and applauded, but the Labour

 clones sat impassive, oblivious to the sabotage of their virtual leader's speech.

 "Don't we swear allegiance to King Harry?" Murdoch asked.

 "Not this year," Nowinski told him. "Not with Cornwall occupied by an army trying to

 put down an independence uprising."

 "Right, I forgot.""

 "Yeah, Englishman killing Englishman. Kind of puts a damper on old Miliband's

 tenth anniversary as PM, eh?"

 Murdoch nodded, aware that a message was on his own screen.

 GOVERNMENT LEGISLATION

AGENDA ITEM 001

NO AMMENDMENTS

VOTE YES

VOTE NO

 Murdoch chewed his lower lip. Agenda Item 001. What was that ? He'd have to get

 his mail rerouted from now on, or have Bodger locked in the living room.

 "How do I vote ?" he asked Nowinski.

 "Just touch the screen."

 Well, he would touch no, obviously. He was in opposition. He touched the word and

 sat back. Instantly his lectern glowed red. All of the government lecterns opposite glowed

 green, as expected, as did the Lib Dem lecterns, even Nowinski's was that colour, and

 every other lectern he could see. Only his was red.

 "What are you doing ?" hissed Nowinski.

 "Voting no."

 "Don't you know what this Bill is about ?"

 "Er, uh, no."

 "It's the increase in remuneration to MSPs. A 20% pay rise."

 "But I'm earning £300000."

 "So what ? You're a representative of the people. You deserve that £60000 pay

 rise. Listen, I gave up being a Super Councillor to become a MSP. I'm out of pocket."

 "I didn't know what item 001 was about."

 "Well, get your act together, kid. Everyone voted for this Bill, except you. Even the

 Gordon Brown Memorial Party voted yes."